silent all these years - tori amos

Years go by, will I still be waiting for somebody else to understand?
Years go by if I’m stripped of my beauty and the orange clouds raining in my hand..
Years go by, will I choke on my tears, ‘til finally there is nothing left?
One more casualty, you know we’re too easy easy easy

Sometimes I hear my voice, and it’s been here… silent all these years.

As I mentioned in a previous entry, I’ve been listening to Tori since I was 14. And so much of her music has had some sort of weird impact on my life, whether it’s thanks to her lyrics or whether the song played a role in the disjointed soundtrack of my life. But this one… this has stuck with me.

When I was an angsty, confused high school freshman. When I was confused about what was going on in my head. When I felt no one understood me, my goals, my incentives, my world. When I was still figuring myself out, in the frenzy and chaotic mess that is high school. I yearned for some level of understanding, even if I obtained it through a song that was close to a decade old.

It’s been 14 years since this song screamed out to me, and it still remains something I carry. It brings me directly back to that time where my confusion reigned and I had no idea what the hell I was doing in my little world. I’ve since figured it out, but I’ll always remember just how trying my life was then. Back when everything seemed just a little more complicated.

06/12/12 at 10:52pm